I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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