I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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