looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
