My first STD was from a foam party
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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