there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
