I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
look no pants
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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