I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
