Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
