I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You're a waste of cheezeits
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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