Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
