and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
