My brain says no but my pants say off.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
