Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
