dude i'm inner monologue high
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
