we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
