You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
