You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
