You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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