Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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