I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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