Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
