i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
