PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I need to calm my uterus...
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
