I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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