Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
