Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You ruined the universe
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
