Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
