C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
