dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
