sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
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