I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
