plz talk dirty to me
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Farmville is her only friend.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
