They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Randomize
