kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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