So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Randomize
