is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
