He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
