I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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