Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
