He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
