Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
my sisters under your porch take her home
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
