the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You need Xanax blowdarts
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
