You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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