i think i have herpe
just one?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
