He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
This toilet bowl is my home.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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