Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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