they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
