to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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