somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
