I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
